Anybody with the slighted hint of ball-knowledge knows that betting NBA props is difficult toward the middle/end of the NBA regular season. The season is too long, the talent discrepancy is too massive between teams, load management and limited minutes without media knowledge often creates an environment ripe for bettors to lose their children’s tuition funds. Throw in this year’s tanking allegations of a dozen NBA teams, Gen-Z addicts don’t stand a chance.

After a brief hiatus of sports betting following the tragic loss in the (fraudulent) WNBA Draft that I'll likely get flamed for: We. Are. So. Fucking. Back. Levels of Back unfathomable by even the Backstreet Boys and Eminem. The reason is simple: NBA games finally mean something again.

With $2.04 left in my PrizePicks account, it was time for a Hail Mary to recover from Monday's loss. Luckily, the NBA Play-In and PrizePicks Taco Tuesday had my back. With the NBA Play-In essentially creating “win-or-go-home” scenarios, star players are actually incentivized to do their fucking job and ball-out. Teams can’t limit minutes or load manage star players’ injuries if the next game isn’t guaranteed, and teams won’t tank if they’ve made it this far. I knew there was an opportunity to land the big fish, and below was the ticket to do it:

Sure, my $2.04 bet only paid out $11.22 because LaMelo Ball tried murdering Bam Adebayo, but we live to play another day.

In reality, we can only thank LaMelo that the incident occurred in the first half, voiding Bam's over. While I will never root for any player's injury, I do pray that all injuries may occur in the first-half and be voidable (Praise Allah).

While NBA casuals might think now is the time to bet big, they have forgotten about the league’s secret weapon: Scott Foster and Tony Brothers. The NBA also recently announced that PrizePicks is now an official Daily Daily Fantasy Sports (aka Sports Betting) Partner with the league. Does anybody really think that the partnership doesn’t involve some kind of foreknowledge affecting any future prop picks? The NBA is notorious for inaccurate injury reports, this inside knowledge alone would skyrocket PrizePicks revenue. Now add referees to the mix, and PrizePicks may be able to significantly influence the outcome and player performance of NBA games. This is no conspiracy theory, and I invite everyone to revisit the 2002 West Conference Finals series between the Kings/Lakers.

Long story short: Keep the bet size manageable and fun. Expect the NBA and PrizePicks to fuck you over on occasion. If you’ve read this far, here’s some free ball-knowledge for today's NBA Play-In games:

• Paolo Banchero: Over 12.5 Rebs+Asts
• Tyrese Maxey: Over 1.5 3PTM
• John Collins: Over 17.5 PRA
• Paul George: Under 30.5 PRA
• Steph Curry: Over 2.5 3PTM

If you like those, join our free OnlyFans. Certified ball-knowers only.