SAN ANTONIO, Texas – At 7’4” and a chic 235lbs, Victor Wembanyama has one of the most enviable bodies in the NBA. Now, the “Belle of the Ball” is sharing his number one tip for staying sexy-skinny and beach-ready.
“I’ve been using tapeworms ever since I joined the league, and it’s done wonders for my figure,” says Wembanyama, who led the Spurs to the NBA Finals last season before falling to the Knicks 4-1. “It’s super easy- you just swallow an egg or a segment from another worm and pretty soon you’ve got your own weight-watching buddy living inside you, leeching nutrients and shaving off all those extra calories.”
Commonly found in wild animals and Hollywood types, tapeworms live in the intestinal tract and can grow to be several feet long. They reproduce by laying eggs or shedding pieces of their segmented bodies, which are excreted by the host and then make their way into food sources and the hands of talent agents via natural means.
“It’s a great option for anyone looking to lose some weight without changing their diet. There’s sort of a ramp up as the worm grows to full size though, so if you need results quick, just swallow an adult worm.”
The former Rookie of the Year says he got the idea from NBA Commissioner Adam Silver and claims that most of the players in the league are also using tapeworms.
“Some of the guys even have it baked into their contracts, but most of us just use them as needed. Every now and then you’ll be in the locker room or at a party and Adam will come up behind you and whisper, ‘I think you’d look really hot if you lost five pounds. Let’s get you back on the worms.’ And then he’ll slip a little baggie into your pocket. Some people say the segments are from his own personal tapeworm, but I don’t know if that’s true.”