Notre Dame To Change Mascot To Conor McGregor

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Pope

2021-01-20


SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Here at 5thQuarterSports were not shocked to hear this ‘breaking’ news. Notre Dame has decided to change their mascot from the Leprechaun, to Conor McGregor. This cannot come as real news to anyone. This was destiny, written in the stars between Gemini and Cancer. Want proof?

Exhibit A:

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I mean, just look at how Conor is walking with his new watch. How is that not a spitting image of the duck-footed, ready to rumble Leprechaun?

5thQuarterSports fully endorses this switch of branding. It is a fresh start for Notre Dame, while still remaining at its roots.

Has this joke been done before? Yes, to death. But, you know what? We will not be the last. Did this author only start to Google this joke half way through ‘reporting’ on this ‘important’ ‘news’‘?’ Yes.

Regardless, we here at 5thQuarter go the extra mile. We have obtained the outline of the deal from REPUTABLE sources.

  1. This contract will last for 5 years, with option to renew at the end based soley on increased Twitter following of Notre Dame
  2. Conor is NOT allowed to coach the recreational boxing team.
  3. The amount of money is undisclosed, however it is not substantial.
  4. Conor must get not only a picture of the original Leprechaun, but also of himself, tatoo'd on his 'arse'.
  5. Conor must not quote a Guy Ritchie film while on campus grounds.

Be prepared for the introduction of new merch at the campus store, and old merch appearing at inflated prices on Ebay.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Pope | @MelloFelloYello
Did you play on my drumset?

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