SAN FRANCISCO -- After a historic run as an NFL quarterback, Steeler's QB Aaron Rogers announces his retirement from the NFL. this comes after a surprising number of retirement announcements in the NFL. After several injury-prone seasons he is calling it quits for now. The next field to lead? That is right, medicine.

After the previous Sec. of HHS, RFJ Jr., passed away from an obscure disease contracted from a bat (rabies) the White House announced their nomination for HHS: none other an Aaron Rogers. He plans to run a tight formation and run a nickle defense. You heard that right, all children in America are now recommended nickle supplements. It promotes strong, metal bones and blindness.

We tried to reach out to Rogers for a quote, but all we got in response was:

| The Bees! My head is full of bees!

We were unsure of what that meant, either he is referring to the fact that Washington is abuzz with this nomination, or he is experiencing severe CTE symptoms.

Rogers is going to Make America Play Football Again. MAPFA. Will he ever make his return in the NFL? Well, the future is unclear but maybe he'll have a sitdown with Philip Rivers.