SACRAMENTO -- Sometimes love is meant to be. Sometimes, love is a multi million dollar scheme to sell beer that is as cold as the Rockies. In a shocking twist leaked internal documents from the Molson Coors Beverage Company show that Madison Beer, girlfriend of the Chargers star quarterback Justin Herbert, doesn't actually exist. Those hundreds of Instagram pictures? AI. The videos, the true crime podcasts appearances, the romantasy readings on Spotify? AI. This could be the best use of AI by a major company, so good even that it has caused what is technically classified as mass psychosis. This is the MK-Ultra architects' wet dream.
Herbert could not be reached for comment. The Molson Coors Beverage Company would not even pick up our calls. We forgot Madison Beer was an AI temporarily and tried to reach out to her for a quote as well to no avail, the same Molson Coors Beverage Company answering machine screened us.