At Google IO's keynote session they announced their intent to exit the search and AI business.
SACRAMENTO -- Yesterday's keynote at Google IO, the company who's former slogan was "Don't be Evil" has announced that they plan to exit from both the search space as well as from AI. The company that started as Backrub in Standford, who's original goal was to index all of human knowledge, and who hoovered up nearly all human created media to kick off the totally rad Summer Of AI, has realized that the margins for crawling and storing the entirety of information have become much too slim. The crowd was in awe'd silence at the news.
They realized that is much, much more profitable to instead steal directly from artist's brains.
They have partnered with Amazon's last mile delivery service to sweep musicians from open mics, poets from coffee shoppes, and painters from highway overpasses. These individuals will be knocked unconscious, and shuttled to local "pig processing plants". Their lives will be humanely taken by a light electric stun, their brains extracted whole, placed into a jar of saline and nutrients, and used to create the world's largest artist powered super computer. It's goal? To create new Google Doodles.
This will be the first ever created non-vegan computer.
Note the GCP compute platform will remain active, and will continue the practice of randomly suspending accounts for multiple hours resulting in billions of lost revenue for their users.