# 5th Quarter Sports

> Sports news. Totally Real. Not your grandpa's takes

5th Quarter Sports delivers satirical sports commentary and analysis covering the NBA, MLB, NFL, UFC, and more.

## Categories

- [NFL / CFB](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football)
- [MLB](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball)
- [NBA](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball)
- [F1 / NASCAR](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/racing)
- [UFC / WWE](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat)
- [Misc](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc)

## Recent Articles

- [Diggs, Diners, Drive Ins, & Diving into the Stefan](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/diggs-diners-drive-ins-diving-into-the-stefan/): Entering his 12th NFL season, Stefan Diggs' future was uncertain. He joins the Commanders, and we take a look at what that means.
- [PhiLeBronphia and what this truly means for his Legacy](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/philebronphia-and-what-this-truly-means-for-his-legacy/): King James finds a new Kingdom
- [What the Buck was Heating up in Vegas?](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/what-the-buck-was-heating-up-in-vegas/): Former friends become foes in Sin City.
- [Steven A. Smith Announces Pat McAfee as Potential Running Mate in 2028](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/steven-a-smith-announces-pat-mcafee-as-potential-running-mate-in-2028/): After the wave of ESPN layoffs in July 2026, axing Cam Newton from the network, Steven A. Smith looks towards Pat McAfee for his 2028 presidential campagin.
- [LeBron James, Former Free Agent, Signs With Sacramento Kings](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/lebron-james-former-free-agent-signs-with-sacramento-kings/): LeBron James, former Lakers player who had recently announced his free agency, has decided to sign with the Sacramento Kings. This is to temporarily replace DeMar DeRozan.
- [Did the Heat Secretly Pull Off the Biggest NBA Heist of All-Time?](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/did-the-heat-secretly-pull-off-the-biggest-nba-heist-of-all-time/): An overshadowed asset that may turn a new leaf for Miami.
- [Starmer To Step Down Ahead of England's Loss to Ghana](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/starmer-to-step-down-ahead-of-englands-loss-to-ghana/): Continuing the string of short Prime Minister terms, Starmer is speculated to resign before England's match against Ghana in the 2026 FIFA World Cup.
- [The Secret To The Knick's Success: Microsoft Copilot](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/the-secret-to-the-knicks-success-microsoft-copilot/): The Knicks have added a new player to their roster. That player? Artificial Intelligence
- [The MLB Needs Premier League Style Relegation](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-mlb-needs-premier-league-style-relegation/): The MLB is the best league to introduce relegation, it has all of the required underpinnings for a successful experiment.
- [Tulsi Gabbard Resigns as U.S. Intelligence Chief; Announces Appointment As Coach For Russia's National Hockey ](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/tulsi-gabbard-resigns-as-u-s-intelligence-chief-announces-appointment-as-coach-for-russias-national-hockey/): Tulsi Gabbard has announced her resignation as director of U.S. National Intelligence. The next position she has lined up shocks noone.
- [FAST FACTS: Your Favorite LeBron’s Favorite LeBron](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/fast-facts-your-favorite-lebron-s-favorite-lebron/): Hint: it's not his son
- [Google Abandons Search and AI Business; Starts Murdering Artists Directly](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/google-abandons-search-and-ai-business-starts-murdering-artists-directly/): At Google IO's keynote session they announced their intent to exit the search and AI business.
- [Aaron Rodgers Comes Out of Retirement To Lead The Steelers](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/aaron-rodgers-comes-out-of-retirement-to-lead-the-steelers/): Aaron Rodgers has announced that his short-lived retirement is over, and that he is returning to the Steelers as their quarterback for another season.
- [The Bay Area Gets Another Tugboat. The End Of The Ballad of Patrick Bailey](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/the-bay-area-gets-another-tugboat-the-end-of-the-ballad-of-patrick-bailey/): Patrick Bailey has been traded to the Gaurdians for Matt "Tugboat" Wilkinson. It is the end of an era for the San Francisco Giants.
- [UFC 328: Khamzat v Strickland, Front Kicks vs Not Getting Front Kicked](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/ufc-328-khamzat-v-strickland-front-kicks-vs-not-getting-front-kicked/): UFC 238 is not happening because it will be an entertaining fight. It is happening because the weigh in will be more exciting than the fight itsself.
- [Report: While Playing GTA As A Child Joe Burrow Would Follow Sex Workers Around For Hours](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/report-while-playing-gta-as-a-child-joe-burrow-would-follow-sex-workers-around-for-hours/): During an interview at the Kentucky Derby, Bengals Quarterback Joe Burrow gave a wide ranging interview, including his past GTA habits.
- [Aaron Rodgers Retires From NFL After 21 Seasons; Nominated For Secretary of HHS](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/aaron-rodgers-retires-from-nfl-after-21-seasons-nominated-for-secretary-of-hhs/): After a storied career in the NFL, Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers announces his retirment, marking his tenure in the league at 21 seasons.
- [New NBA Rule Allows Team Owners To Challenge Refs](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/new-nba-rule-allows-team-owners-to-challenge-refs/): If a guy owns the team, shouldn’t he get a say in the game?
- [Diego Pavia Is The Least Controversial Heisman Finalist in Recent Memory](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/diego-pavia-is-the-least-controversial-heisman-finalist-in-recent-memory/): While Pavia was a Heisman finalist, he went undrafted in the 2026 draft. We review past Heisman winners in comparision.
- [76ers star Embiid fined $50K for whispering 6 or 7 during Celtics game](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/76ers-star-embiid-fined-50k-for-dropping-the-6-7/): Joel Embiid, star of the 76ers has been fined for being a meme-lord and dropping 6 7 after sinking a 3 pointer in the Celtics game 4.
- [The War With Iran Is Just a Distraction For The NBA Playoffs](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/the-war-with-iran-is-just-a-distraction-for-the-nba-playoffs/): The chain of events from the NBA's dying viewership to the latest war in the Middle East are directly correlated.
- [Fernando Mendoza: Somehow Not A Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/fernando-mendoza-somehow-not-a-member-of-the-church-of-jesus-christ-of-latter-day-saints/): Fernando Mendoza, the No. 1 pick for the Raiders in the 2026 NFL draft defies all odds by not being a Mormon.
- [After Dangerous Climb Of Taipei 101, Alex Honnold Announces Plan To Climb The Social Ladder](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/after-dangerous-climb-of-taipei-101-alex-honnold-announces-plan-to-climb-the-social-ladder/): Just another feather in his cap
- [NBA and Palantir Partnership Announced To Track Players On and Off The Court](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/nba-and-palantir-partnership-announced-to-track-players-on-and-off-the-court/): The NBA has parterned with Palantir for a new data analytics platform. This partnership has come under fire for Palantir's recent government contracts.
- [Freaky Friday: Brock Lesnar and Brock Osweiler Bump Heads and Switch Bodies](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/freaky-friday-brock-lenar-and-brock-osweiler-bump-heads-and-switch-bodes/): Brock Lesnar and Brock Osweiler swap bodies during Wrestlemania. It's the battle of the Brocks.
- [The Giants are Stacked for the 2026 Draft. How Will They Mess It Up?](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/the-giants-are-stacked-for-the-2026-draft-how-will-they-mess-it-up/): The New York Giants have positioned themselves very well for the 2026 draft after trading Dexter Lawrence to the Bengals. Where will this go all wrong? 
- [The NBA Finals, Prime Video, and the K Shaped Economy](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/the-nba-finals-prime-video-and-the-k-shaped-economy/): The US economy futher striates with the K Shaped recovery. What this means for NBA fans during the finals without Prime Video.
- [Doc Rivers Announces Retirement From Coaching, Plans To Return as a Free Agent](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/doc-rivers-announces-retirement-from-coaching-plans-to-return-as-a-free-agent/): Milwaukee Bucks coach and former NBA player Doc Rivers announces his retirement as a coach.
- [Josh Hokit is the final form of the WWE-ification of the UFC](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/josh-hokit-is-the-final-form-of-the-wwe-ification-of-the-ufc/): After the UFC and the WWE into WME Group, the creative side of the WWE has taken over. Josh Hokit's antics are the final form, and the ultimate result of the union.
- [NBA Playoffs: Do Meaningful Games Mean Betting Opportunity?](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/nba-playoffs-do-meaningful-games-mean-betting-opportunity/): Anybody with the slighted hint of ball-knowledge knows that betting NBA props is difficult toward the middle/end of the NBA regular season.
- [WNBA Draft Recap: Toes, Hoes and Woes](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/wnba-draft-recap-toes-hoes-and-woes/): Lauren Betts is a 6’7” Center leading UCLA to the national championship earlier this month. PrizePicks odds were -270 for Lauren Betts to be selected anywhere in the Top 3. A $100 wager would payout $136.
- [Pope Leo XIV Speaks Out Against the Tush Push](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/pope-leo-xiv-speaks-out-against-the-tush-push/): His Holiness opened up on the ethics of the Tush Push, causing the second American schism of the week.
- [Are the 25-26 Kings The Worst NBA Team Ever?](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/are-the-25-26-kings-the-worst-nba-team-ever/): I think we all know the answer if the Kings are maybe the worst team of all time in the 2025-26 season.
- [The Rise of the Gen-Z Stare in the NBA](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/the-rise-of-the-gen-z-stare-in-the-nba/): As the league ages, can they keep up with the attitudes of the newer generation? How is the Thunder the new Warriors?
- [League of Legends Champs That NFL Quarterbacks Main](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/league-of-legends-champs-that-nfl-quarterbacks-main/): We dig deep into League meta and the 2026 NFL Quarterback lineup to find which champion they play as their mains.
- [Bran Podziemski, First Of His Name, Ascends Throne After Defeating Kings With 30 Point Game.](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/bran-podziemski-first-of-his-name-ascends-throne-after-defeating-kings-with-30-point-game/): How the NBA has strong and strange parallels to the worlds of popular fantasy novels.
- [Mike Vrabel is a Victim. Noone should be forced to coach the post-Brady Patriots.](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/mike-vrabel-is-a-victim-noone-should-be-forced-to-coach-the-post-brady-patriots/): Vrabel worked his way down from the Titans, to the Browns, to leaking to TMZ and Shams, and finally fell rock bottom to the Patriots.
- [IZZY, DDP, AND THE “REAL AFRICAN” ARC: A STORY OF PRIDE, PAIN, AND PERMANENT GROUP CHAT RECEIPTS](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/combat/izzy-ddp-and-the-real-african-arc-a-story-of-pride-pain-and-permanent-group-chat-receipts/): We break down the Adesanya vs Du Plessis arc and where it goes next.
- [After DUI, Tiger Woods Signs With The University of Georgia Bulldogs](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/after-dui-tiger-woods-signs-with-the-university-of-georgia-bulldogs/): Tiger Woods signs with the University of Georgia Bulldogs after his latest DUI charge in Florida. TGL plans put on hold.
- [Draymond Green DESTROYS Ref With FACTS And LOGIC](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/basketball/draymond-green-destroys-ref-with-facts-and-logic/): Scott Foster finally gets his.
- [Hamilton Seals Ferraris’ Fate](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/racing/hamilton-seals-ferraris-fate/): Fear is the only thing faster than Ferraris' new car withe the rumored "Kardashian Curse"
- [Lisa Vittozzi Crowned Italy’s First Gold Medal Snow Assassin](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/lisa-vittozzi-crowned-italy-s-first-gold-medal-snow-assassin/): Bang. Bang bang bang.
- [I Finished Last In Fantasy Football; What It Taught Me About B2B Sales](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/i-finished-last-in-fantasy-football-what-it-taught-me-about-b2b-sales/): My B2B sales strategy is ripped straight from my Fantasy Football playbook. I come in last every year, and have made $0 in commissions.
- [Supreme Court Upholds Ban On Joey Lucchesi’s Weird “Churve” Pitch](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/baseball/supreme-court-upholds-ban-on-joey-lucchesi-s-weird-churve-pitch/): Think of the children!
- [Start Star Sign Maxxing Your NFL Bets Next Season](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/start-star-sign-maxxing-your-nfl-bets-next-season/): The optimal sports betting strategy has been discovered. Relying on horoscopes and star signs, you can win big next NFL season.
- [Mayor Zohran Mamdani Announces Bold New Economic Plan: “League of Legends Shutdown Gold”](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/misc/mayor-zohran-mamdani-announces-bold-new-economic-plan-league-of-legends-shutdown-gold/): Mamdani has decided to take some drastic measures in the League of Legends scene, which includes changing the basics of bouties, ARAM, and more.
- [The NFL Initiated a Coach Shuffle To Distract From Referee Corruption](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/the-nfl-initiated-a-coach-shuffle-to-distract-from-referee-corruption/): RefGate is offical. The NFL has initated a wave of Head Coach firing to hide referee corruption. Are referees bribed? We think we have proof.
- [Former Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh To Coach At Michigan](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/former-ravens-head-coach-john-harbaugh-to-coach-at-michigan/): Recently fired Baltimore Ravens Head Coach John Harbaugh set to head Michigan's football team after Kyle Whittingham departure back to Utah.
- [Conformity Gate Was Wrong: No Wednesday Night Football](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/conformity-gate-was-wrong-no-wednesday-night-football/): Once again we've fallen for an internet hoax at the end of the NFL season. Conformity Gate was incorrect, no Football on the 7th.
- [Justin Herbert's Girlfriend Madison Beer Revealed to be AI-generated Hologram by Coors](https://www.5thquartersports.com/article/football/justin-herberts-girlfriend-madison-beer-revealed-to-be-ai-generated-hologram-by-coors/): It turns out that Madison Beer is just an elaborate marketing campaign by the Molson Coors Beverage Company.


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