Official 5th Quarter Sports 2021 MLB Hall of Fame Ballot

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Resident Ginger

2021-01-01


Above is the officially official 5th Quarter Sports 2021 Major League Baseball Hall of Fame ballot. No, none of us actually have a vote (cough horseshit cough).

Ok, let’s be honest here. Of the 397 ballots cast in the 2020 HoF vote, 96.3% of them were garbage. Get these traditionalists, who were voting when Hank Aaron was still playing, out of the damn way so we can get the real giants of baseball into the coveted Hall. We want the big bois. The big biceps. The 30 inch quads. The smaller than previously noted testes. The 500’ home run power and the big time shove it down your throat fastball guys. These are the heroes of the 90s and early 2000s.

If the Hall of Fame tells the story of the game, then you can’t do that without the all-time postseason wins leader, the all-time Cy Young leader, the home run king, the all-time postseason home run leader, the highest strikeout to walk ratio pitcher and bloody sock, the guy who ran around with an American flag, and Gary Sheffield. Do the right thing. Put the bois in Cooperstown.

P.S. Those above, who received a vote probably never, beyond a reasonable doubt, ever took steroids. Except Andy Petite. Fuck that guy.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Resident Ginger | @5thQGinger
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