Thicc Boi Thursday! Bartolo Colon has taken his talents south of the border!

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Danny Dimes

2021-02-19


Everyone's favorite Favorite Baseball Burley Boi is continuing his career! 

After an underwhelming last season in the majors last year Bartolo Colon has decided to take his talents south of the border and has signed with the Mexican Baseball League’s Acereros de Monclava! I believe that this Thicc Boi just had a rough 2020 and gained a few lbs, but who didn’t? Now he is on the comeback trail at age 47! This athlete makes Tom Brady seem young!

Now Mexican fans will be able to witness  this absolute unit unleash his flamethrower arm! And, don't get me started on if he blesses the team with his bat! This story writes itself, he is like the real life Kenny Powers! I'm sure it will be no time before he draws the attention of an MLB club. 

Hey, maybe the A’s could pick him up, he would be cheap, eat innings and probably draw some viewership and ticket sales! That would be a real moneyball move! Someone get me on the phone with Billy Beane and Oakland’s broke boi management team. I’ll pay to refill their soda machine if they give this man a spring training invite!

He may look like  someone's middle-aged softball playing uncle. But the man they called “Big Sexy” is the ideal male body. This is peak performance! But if this new league doesn't work out for Bartolo, he could always try PEDs again, I know my softball league doesn’t test!

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Danny Dimes | @DannyDimes420
Droppin' dimes and squeezing limes.

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