Metta Sandiford-Artest, Formerly Known As Metta World Peace, Formerly Known as Ron Artest, Sues Facebook Over Name Change and Stolen Valor

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5thQ Staff Writer


SAN FRANCISCO -- The media firestorm is calling this the Malice at Menlo Park. In the wake of mass shootings, white supremacy, internal company conflicts, harmful algorithms, human trafficking, war crimes, advertising, human-lizard hybridism, and generally bad PR; Facebook has decided to make a pivot in hopes that we all forget the nastiness currently associated with them. However, they've made a crucial misstep this time around: they're looking at 'Meta' as the new name for their company and product.

The Zuck has directly ripped off Metta Sandiford-Artest's brand, legacy, and namesake for their grand rebranding. So now, the one true Metta/Meta needs to be determined. Sandiford-Artest has issued a lawsuit against Facebook/Meta, and according to the 5thQuarterSport's personal lawyer and long time contributor, @Drewskidew he has a ROCK solid case against them. Except for one curious clause embedded deep with the legal paperwork.

Sandiford has challenged the Zuck in mortal combat on who gets to keep this iconic name. A three-on-three no-rules half-court game of basketball. There are several loose stipulations in this proposal. The arena is of Zuck's choosing. Each player gets to choose one person on the other's team. There are no flagrant fouls. A player cannot granny shot (a devastating blow for the Zuck).

5thQuarterSports will keep our avid readership up-to-date with more details as this case of the century unfolds. All we can predict now is: this does not look good for Facebook/Meta, or for The Zuck himself.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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5thQ Staff Writer | @5thQSports
The staff writer, because whoever wrote it was too afraid to put thier name on it.