Logan Paul to Box Mayweather, Holyfield, and Ruiz At The Same Time

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Pope

2021-01-06


In a shocking announcement, 5th Quarter Sports has learned that Logan Paul has announced the fight of the century, neigh, the millennium. A 4 way free-for-all boxing match hosted at the MGM Grand Garden Arena. Legends all around, Logan Paul, the Youtuber-turned-boxer. Evander Holyfield, the one-eared legend. Floyd Mayweather, the scholar. And finally, Andy Ruiz Jr. , the formally undefeated champion. This is the beauty of exhibition boxing matches. Celebrities, retired boxers, and internet memes gather for a show for the ages.

Look, we all know what will happen. Even though Evander is 58, he’ll take the inside one at a time and dominate. But we’re not here for that. We’re here for the musicians in between the matches, like the last match. We’re here to go ‘when are they gonna fight’, four hours into watching. We’re HERE, to see Ruiz go full on Saitama from One-Punch Man and sleep the ref.

Those who perform well, are rewarded. As such, the man who obviously had the best form during the Paul/Robinson, Tyson/Jones fight is announcing this match. That is right, Snoop Dogg has returned to continue his announcer career after he exploded onto the scene during his inaugural slot. He has promised more impromptu hymns, and blunt smoke. 5th Quarter predicts a career change for the OG.

Is this unheard of? Yes. Is it technically illegal? Possibly. Am I going to make some money? You bet your sweet cheeks that I am. The 5th Quarter staff has planned a viewing party, be sure to tune in.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Pope | @MelloFelloYello
Did you play on my drumset?

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