Bill Belichick, Ex-Lacrosse Player, Creates 3D Chess Over Text Messages

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5thQ Staff Writer


SAN FRANCISCO -- We've all done it: pretend 'accidental' text messages.

We have the first level of 'accidental' text messages: reaching out to a love interest of the past.

"Can I get the car keys?" - Me to a cute girl I haven't talked to in three years

"Haha, what?" - Her replying.

"Oooh no, that was totally meant for my roommate LOL. Anyways, hows it going?"

This, this is level of text messaging is somewhere between checkers and regular chess. More on the checkers side of things.

The next step up is 'accidentally' sending a naked picture to your friend's group chat and saying 'Whoops', then following it up with a meme.

Above that is texting your Door Dash driver to pickup some beer on the way back from getting McDonald's. While bold, it occasionally works out.

And finally, we've reach Belichick levels of texting. Confusing the names of two people to initiate the downfall of a previous employer when they refused to promote you. That's a pro move, unmatched. The 5thQuarterSports staff has taken note, and will learn from the eternal sensei.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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5thQ Staff Writer | @5thQSports
The staff writer, because whoever wrote it was too afraid to put thier name on it.