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The football Gods have blessed us on what seems to have been a forsaken year (2020). Most of the major retailers have decided that they will not be running a commercial during their usual Super Bowl time slot. Now, a lot of people are probably like “Oh no! Those are the best.” These people also add water to their salsa because it is too spicy. We are talking about casual milk-drinkers. Anyone who has an actual love for this godly football tradition, does not care even the slightest bit.

Over the years, the retail industry has turned a once sacred event into a “good feeling” and “relatable” ads massacre. Trying to pawn off subliminal messages of profits and sales as a viral Facebook video on TV. Mark Zuckerberg is getting off just thinking about it. It has become worse than just an ad straight up saying ‘Drink (insert random light beer here)’. If COVID-19 has any sort of silver lining, hopefully this one sticks around.

No more people hanging around my TV, taking up valuable couch real estate just to tune into the commercials. It’s 2021, it’s time to cut those people out of your life, even if that is your significant other and/or their friends. You do not need that type of energy absorbing all of the good football vibes. Please send all of your complaints to Roger Goodell, so that way we can kill two birds with one stone. Or one Goodell with one good shot, whatever man.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Drewski | @drewskidew
The Tales Of A Self Loathing Narcissist