Report: You can take the man out of Butte County, but you can't take the Butte County out of the man.

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5thQ Staff Writer


SAN FRANCISCO -- It takes strong moral fiber to boycott your job. Some famous examples come to mind, French Coal Miners in the 1800s, the great Teachers of Ontario striking in 1997, and recently the Kellogg's Factory strike of 2021. Now, joining their ranks, is the great Aaron Rogers. He is STANDING UP for what he believes in. He is striking on his job, and choosing not to play in the Superbowl if the Packers make it, unless his demands are met.

His demands are simple:

  1. Legalize baptizing children in Bud Light.
  2. Allow the wispy, plastic smoke of methamphetamine to be legal within 25 feet of schools.
  3. Non-mandatory vaccinations in this free nation.
  4. The full recognition and succession of the great State of Jefferson.

His demands are common amongst the denizens of the 'dirty 530' area code. They're good, common folk with strong demands. Keep fighting the good fight, our neighbors to the north. Keep growing them almonds, supplying water to the Hollywood elitists, and breeding strong Quarterbacks.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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5thQ Staff Writer | @5thQSports
The staff writer, because whoever wrote it was too afraid to put thier name on it.