Study: Millennials have 50/50 chance of Vince Lombardi Trophy Ownership in 2021

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5thQ Staff Writer


TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA - In yet another concerning study of generational wealth, economists have determined that millennials’ chances of owning the Vince Lombardi Trophy have dropped to 50 percent in 2021. The shift follows a wave of high-profile Boomers holding onto successful season runs despite their advanced age, such as Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Brett Favre, and Tom Brady.

Brady in particular was discovered as an acute cause of millennials’ fallen 2021 fortunes after a not-so-surprising move to sunny Florida following twenty seasons in the cold winters of Massachusetts.

“This trend has certainly been developing for several years now,” says Dr. Noah Itall, lead researcher at the Liberty University Center for Traditional Values and Generational Hoarding. “So-called ‘Boomers’ move to Florida for a warmer climate that suits their advanced age, yet can’t let go of their relevancy and all-time total pass yard records to make room for the next cohort of athletes.”

Of course, the avocado-loving, student-loan trapped, genderless swarm of the millennial generation can’t be written off yet, as Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers face fierce competition against Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday, February 7th.

“While the odds have turned for the worse, Mahomes and the millennial chances at owning the Lombardi Trophy aren’t zero,” according to Dr. Winnie Baag, professor of participation studies at the Sarah Lawrence Institute of Digital Validation and Identity Poltitics. “Time and time again, millennials have proven resilient in the face of crushing economic odds and strong offensive plays created by Boomers.

The nation - and the world - will have to see if millennials can beat the worsening odds as Brady and Mahomes face off for the Vince Lombardi Trophy in February.

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5thQ Staff Writer | @5thQSports
The staff writer, because whoever wrote it was too afraid to put thier name on it.