TB .12 (BAC)

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Lane: The Bro

2021-02-11


Unless you live under a rock without wifi access or you're a broke boi with mobile data issues, you've probably seen the shitshow festivities going on in Tampa Bay after the Bucs Super Bowl victory last Sunday. Not only are the fans drinking more booze than Jack Sparrow, but now the players are getting in on the action. 

Tom Brady was seen Wednesday afternoon practically being carried by what looks to be flip-flop wearing, casually-dressed Florida security personnel, aka Florida security personnel. The video spread faster than a California Wildfire on Twitter and was even seen by Brady himself. Brady, who still seemed to be absolutely shit-housed, even commented on the video. The video, along with Brady's response can be seen here:

  https://twitter.com/TomBrady/status/1359624029649457162?s=19

Although Brady's BAC appears to be WELL over .12, we're still going to do that math to see how many drinks it takes TB to get to a .12 BAC. For a 6'4" man weighing 225 pounds, .12 can be achieved a number of different ways. Below are three examples we came up with:

6 drinks in 1 hour

8 drinks in 4 hours

12 drinks in 10 hours

Don't take these calculations as gospel, the math doesn't seem to check out to the 5th Quarter Sports staff either. The numbers were generated by the site below, which seems to be propaganda generated by MADD. 

https://www.alcohol.org/bac-calculator/

In all seriousness, for the sake of TB, his family, and the Tampa Bay organization, we hope Brady finds a ride home and doesn't take the Britt Reid approach.

Who Wrote This Crap?

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Lane: The Bro | @Beachjesuslane
Dancing on someone's mom at the clerb.

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