NEW YORK -- Its a dark day for the city of New York, and an even darker month. Hired in just 2022 with a fire cracker season, things went from bad to worse for Daboll. And now, the former head coach of the New York Giants is now on the brink of homelessness, and is considering sharing space in the sewers of New York with the mutated turtles and fresh Albanian immigrants. This is the absolute worst time for him to lose his job, in this economy without readily available government assistance? How will he feed his literal 6 children?

Danny Dimes couldn't save them, after he went from throwing dimes to selling bags of them. Jaxson Dart can't even spell his own fucked up name after what happened to him today. A young-blood is needed. Some fresh young, tight citrus with dimpled dewy skin.

The only solution to this problem? Arch Manning drops out of UT and ascends the thrown like Faramir to Gondor. One throw to rule them all, one throw to win them. One pass to win the game, and in New York bind them. The Manning name shall live on in the hallowed halls of Metlife stadium. The Stewards of Metlife shall lead New York out of the trenches of defeat.