SACRAMENTO -- In stunning news, Philip Rivers plans to come out of retirement. The recent 44 year old is set to retake the helm for the Colts in a time where they are struggling, given Daniel Jone's recent injury. What is even more amazing is that he is a Grandfather. It is a rare event in the NFL for a grandfather to be a staring quarterback, most famously Brett Farve.

In other news, my own father had to come out of his retirement. The recent moves in the crypto space, most notability Bitcoin falling way below $100k USD has caused issues with his long-term retirement goals. The man will not do well on the traditional fixed income. He refuses to divulge too much information, but I have a suspicious feeling he fell pray to a meme-coin rug pull. Does that count as elder abuse? I think not, personally. Even worse for him, he isn't even a grandfather yet. Or possibly ever if I keep up my "incel" behavior.

Rivers has a chance to pull the Colts out of a very tight spot. A torn Achilles for Jones, and teenage acne for Riley Leonard. Rivers might be their only hope in this dark moment.