SACRAMENTO -- The referees have been accepting bribes under the table for quite some time, and there is copious proof of this phenomenon. However, after today's egregious yellow flag thrown by the refs at the perfect time has caused quite a stir in the NFL Gambling social media scene. The spread was 8.5 for Denver, and the Raiders were 10 points down. Is it a Christmas miracle? No, the referees were openly accepting bribes to land the underdog.
This time is different. Other times, the NFL denies, denies, denies. They "investigate" the refs, maybe fire them in some cases. But Roger Goodell has taken a heel turn on this one, and decided to remove the wool over the eyes of the fans. After this incident he announces it is actually legal, helpful, and in the rule books that the refs can accept bribes. Even further, the sources are not restricted or recorded. This means the mafia can send a suitcase of money at halftime, or a fan can slip a tenner in the piss trough.
Some of my greatest memories as a child were at the piss trough at a football game. The warm shower, being knee high to the surrounding gentlemen, warmed me up greatly before returning to a crispy fall game. And if I rubbed my hands on my hotdog it was like having free seasoning.
We at 5th Quarter Sports commend Roger Goodell. His infinite wisdom and boundless knowledge have proven useful once again. This shows why he is the man in charge, he makes the hard calls.