SAN FRANCISCO -- We break down which players are most likely to be the next Ted Kaczynski, aka the Unibomber. We take a look at many factors: schooling, location growing up, interests and hobbies, and more. This is an empirical scientific analysis, we spared no expense.

5. Nick Chubb

Huge shoutout to the man Nick, a pillar of his community. Sadly he makes the list. This Texan hails from small town Georgia, Cedartown to be exact. Hidden in this little town? Does it ring any bells? That's right, the dark tunes of Wayland Jennings and his Cedartown, Georgia album. This inspiration, while loose, definitely touched the heart of Chubb and that's the reason he ends up on our little list.

4. Kyle Juszczyk

Harvard-man himself Juszczyk makes the list at number 4. Harvard just so happens to be the school that Kaczynski also attended. Coincidence? Probably. While we don't have any proof he had not participated in any mind-control studies while attending school, we also can't say we don't have proof. That being said, we think this number 4 slot is well deserved. There are few Harvard grads in the NFL comparatively so this carries extra weight in our analysis.

3. Andy Gallik

Up next is Galik, selected in the 2015 draft. While his career was brief, he still makes the list in our eyes. Why you ask? Good question. He and Ted both grew up in Evergreen Park, Illinois. Maybe there is something in the water there, maybe there isn't. We don't want to find out.

2. John Urschel

Urschel is a shining star and a powerful mind. Sadly, so was Kaczynski. Urschel attended MIT where he obtained an impressive PhD in mathematics. Now, was Ted one of his personal heros? We don't believe so, but something lines up a bit too strongly. Both men are cool, calculating, and sharp. However Urschel is a Canadian so that might as well disqualify him from this list.

1. Kaleb McGary

Finally, our best guess. McGary grew up hunting and fishing in the Pacific Northwest, a true outdoorsman. He is interested in living off the grid post-NFL, ready to dissolve into the background of the wilderness Into the Wild style. Bad news, so was Ted. We hear the cabin was removed from the lab, Kaleb. Don't go lookin' for it.

Index

• The Small-Town NFL Player
  • https://encompass.eku.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1639&context=etd
• Cedartown, Georgia -- Wayland Jennings
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cedartown,Georgia(album)