SACRAMENTO -- We live in wild times, and the 5th Quarter Sports staff is here to report the facts on all current events happening in the world. We are here to ease your anxiety riddled mind with facts and journalism which is straight to the point. Let's get straight to the point: President Maduro of Venezuela was captured by the US. This isn't the 1930s, the US can't just invade or occupy a country in South America without internal tensions instead of internal exaltations as we did when we invaded...well nearly all of them I assume. Nicaragua comes to mind, but realistically this action is just par for the course historically.

Anyways, we break down which NFL players were most likely to jump into a Chinook and light up the capital of a sovereign nation. What players would step up to stem the alleged flow of drugs and guns from entering the US? Let's find out.

5. Maxx Crosby

Crosby has hungout with Trump at UFC events. He is an admirer of his policies and style choices. It is rumored that a picture of Crosby will hang in the new East Wing Ballroom. This slots Crosby at #5 on our list. Crosby would always show up for the GOAT. We know Crosby can perform under pressure, but we don't quite know the level of pressure that this would extend to. This justifies his placement. He is a great Defensive End, his natural instinct is to force a fumble. Much like a pitpull ripping the face off of a child, we're worried that Crosby's base intuition will take over and force a fumble over the Caribbean as they cart Maduro back to the Land of the Free. He is here for the vibes but we're not sure of much else at this point.

4. Bo Nix

Now, Nix is an outspoken opponent of Donald Trump and his policies. I get why you, reader, are skeptical of his placement at #4 on this list. It is also conflicting for Nix himself. Nix has spoken at the No Kings rally in the past and had even had to go as far as delete his social media presence due to the outrage his statements had caused. But, down to his core, Nix embodies fairness and freedom. He sees with his own eyes that the citizens of Venezuela are under duress and great harm. For this reason, he'd answer the call. There would be unwillingness, and internal strife, but we know that Nix would show up based on intrinsic principles. There might even be a small smirk as his rockets slam into Hugo Chavez's tomb.

3. Hunter Henry

Hunter Henry is the rock of the Patriots and the best safety in the league. That being said, most people from Boston that I've met have a strong dislike for anything south of the border. I'm pretty sure there is a blanket ban on areperas in the state of MA. This places Henry at number 3. Not because of anything personally about him, but as a victim of circumstance. He'd hold it down.

2. Harrison Butker

Butker values and embodies tradition and has Christ in his heart. These are admirable and truly American traits to have. Do these immediately show a willingness to throw Maduro into a burlap sack and fly him over the ocean? Not necessarily. But, if this mission was properly guised as some kind of mass conversion event its possible that Butker could be convinced.

1. Nick Bosa

Nick Bosa is on the top of the list of NFL player's who want to Make America Great Again. Bosa is in the number one slot for being a true patriot. He has already been volunteering for ICE, so his free time is already limited. This almost eliminated him from he #1 spot, but we know that he would answer the call of duty whenever it happens. The question now is: would he cower in the helicopter, or would he storm the capital? We guess given the invite Nick Bosa would storm the capital.