In a press conference that began with the words “Okay chat, hear me out,” Mayor Zohran Mamdani unveiled what experts are calling either the dumbest or smartest economic policy of the decade: increasing bounties in League of Legends as a means of addressing wealth inequality.

Standing at a podium awkwardly branded with both the city seal and a poorly stretched Summoner’s Rift minimap, Mamdani explained that traditional approaches to wealth redistribution have “low engagement, bad patch notes, and zero highlight clips,” whereas League of Legends has numbers, data, and most importantly, a mute button.

“If one Yasuo main is 7/0 at 12 minutes,” Mamdani said, adjusting his glasses while a Riot Games loading spinner appeared behind him, “that’s not meritocracy. That’s hoarding resources. We are simply redistributing gold to the underfarmed.”

We attempted to contact Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to see if she had any sway in this collation but sadly she did not respond on discord as she is hard stuck in Silver since Sander's lost his presidential campaign back in 2016.

How the Plan Works

Under Mamdani’s proposal, any player who gets too far ahead will now be worth even more shutdown gold, allowing struggling teammates—and enemies—to re-enter the game with dignity.

Key components of the plan include:

• A 1,500 gold bounty for anyone who types “gg ez” before 15 minutes
• Progressive taxation on CS leads (every 10 CS over your lane opponent gets donated to the jungler who never ganked)
• Universal Basic Income in ARAM (everyone starts with a Needlessly Large Rod because vibes)

“This isn’t punishment,” Mamdani clarified. “It’s balance. Also Riot already does this, I’m just claiming credit.”

Billionaires in Shambles (Diamond Players Furious)

The city’s most elite players—those sitting on massive KDA portfolios and offshore gold leads—were quick to criticize the move.

“This is anti-carry,” said one visibly upset Zed main while recalling to base with 3,200 unspent gold. “I earned this lead by smurfing in Silver. Why should a 0/6 Garen get to one-shot me just because I misplayed once?”

Meanwhile, low-elo players celebrated in the streets (and by streets we mean Discord servers).

“For the first time,” said a 1/9 Jinx main, “my existence matters.”

Economists Weigh In

Traditional economists were initially skeptical until Mamdani presented a graph showing that comebacks are more fun, at which point most of them nodded and asked if this applied to student loans. One analyst noted, “This is essentially Keynesian economics, but with dragons.”

What’s Next?

When asked if this model could be expanded beyond League of Legends, Mamdani didn’t hesitate.

• Housing: Anyone with three houses gets invaded at level 3
• Stock Market: If your portfolio is up too much, a random Teemo appears

At press time, Riot Games had not officially commented, though an anonymous developer was overheard saying, “We were gonna do that anyway.”

As the mayor wrapped up the conference, he left reporters with one final thought:

“A fair society is like a balanced game. Sometimes you need to punish the fed carry so everyone else can still have hope.”

Then he flashed Mastery 7, missed the Q, and walked off stage.