SACRAMENTO -- I'm losing my mind right now. Alfred Nobel invented dynamite, and the resulting deaths and destruction haunted him until the day he died. To establish a better legacy, to remove his name as some mere death merchant, he set up a prize system based on science and reasoning and the greater good. This organization was then renamed to FIFA, and it started accepting bribes from heads of state immediately.

The illegal exchange of dark money for government contracts, subsidies, and large sporting events is as old as time itsself. How do you think the Colosseum was built? The answer was lots and lots of slaves. The FIFA organization used this as an example to build out the Qatar infrastructure for the 2022 cup. They are amateur historians. Those who know sports history are doomed to see it repeated.

So the President of the United States of America is given an award for Peace. For being a Peace broker. For making the world a better place. Who lights fires with his left hand, then puts them out with his right. Who's Secretary of War not only kills drug dealers through missile strikes, but much like the sign that my uncle has outside of his house that says "Trespassers will be shot, Survivors will be shot again", proceeds to missile strike the survivors. I called my uncle and let him know his diplomatic policy is now used for the US's military new approach to Peace and he could never be prouder.

The world is a better place given Trump has received his Peace medal. The world is a better place now that FIFA will be hosted in the US, the prime consumers of Football itsself. I'm excited to see the Cowboys play against some Guatemalans. The leadership at the CBP will have massive bonuses by simply turning away spectators once they touch US soil. It will be like some Buster Keaton movie of pushing them back onto the plane in a circular motion, making it look like there are an infinite number of FIFA watcher hopefuls.