SACRAMENTO -- The West Sacramento Oakland Athletics have made a major announcement this afternoon. Originally they had planned to move to Las Vegas in the former Tropicana site for the 2028 season, and abandon the hellscape that is Sutter Field. However, we live in dynamic times and baseball real estate and talent acquisition opportunities move quickly. In a press conference earlier today Athletics owner John Fisher announced that instead of their final destination being in Las Vegas they instead are now breaking ground for a new stadium in Caracas, Venezuela. The site will be on the former tomb of Hugo Chavez.

Few good things are to come to the US's military intervention in Venezuela. Most of all the fact that Fisher will not "Sell The Team", as the fans have been chanting for time immemorial. That being said, there is an extremely strong baseball culture in Venezuela. MVP Ronald Acuña Jr., José Altuve, and Salvador Pérez are all native to, or of Venezuela descent, to name a few examples. We think that a team will flourish in the rich talent of Venezuela, and we are excited at the prospects of official MLB teams in the Caribbean. Is a Trinidad and Tobago team up next?

The real upside is that Las Vegas doesn't get another sports team for literally no reason in a city that is dying due to the decrease in drinking in the US population and the fall in discretionary income.